My wife, Sandy, and I started going to Kadampa meditation classes back in 2000 and in a very short time we both felt that we had found the spiritual home that we had always been searching for, each in our own way. We continued with the classes, went to all the Kadampa International Spring and Summer Festivals, and did retreats at a Kadampa Retreat Centre in Scotland. We found it to be a special blessing that we were on our spiritual journey together as a couple and were able to support each other in our practice and study.
RECEIVING DEVASTATING NEWS!
Six years after we started with the Dharma (Buddhist meditation practice), Sandy was diagnosed with a rare and incurable autoimmune condition that resulted in periodic and progressive bouts of muscular degeneration. Within a few months she could no longer walk and was confined to a wheelchair. This news was really devastating for both of us. After the initial shock wore off a bit, our Dharma practice of the past few years became a true refuge for us. By then each of us had been doing daily meditation practice for some time and now it became even more meaningful in coping with all the practical problems that we faced. I keep remembering that Venerable Geshe-la would say how important it is for us to establish a daily Dharma practice because we simply never know when we might be knocked off our feet by some adversity.
BECOMING A FULL-TIME CARE-GIVER
Over the following years, Sandy progressively lost more of her independence, even her ability to sit up for longer than an hour or so; and in her last two years she was confined to bed and unable even to turn over on her own. Without any really helpful health resources to assist with her care, I became her sole caregiver on a full time basis. I was really fortunate to have my health and the strength to do this for her. All the same, it was a huge challenge to my own self-cherishing. Particularly, in those last two years, Sandy needed almost constant care and I was both mentally and physically exhausted. During this time, I would frequently go back and read Shantideva’s words in the poem the Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life. I especially liked the verse: “And until all those who are sick have been cured of their illness, may I become their medicine, their doctor, and their nurse.” I did not have a lot of time for formal meditation practice myself. But in a very real way, looking after Sandy became my most important practice.
STAYING POSITIVE IN THE FACE OF DIFFICULTIES
