The envelope arrived in the mail explaining the basic info I needed to know for my surgery. “Surgery?” I thought. From the details contained in the letter I would be awake and would have local freezing. I decided that reframing the situation was a good option. Moving forward I referred to it as a “medical procedure”. This made it seem more manageable for a person who lays down when they get needles due to feeling faint. This is a fact I don’t love to admit, because hey, aren’t I tougher than that?
THE BODY YOU NORMALLY SEE DOES NOT EXIST.
Over the following days and weeks, thoughts of the procedure entered my mind, got mulled over and mildly stressed over and then I’d move on to other thoughts. There was a video link in the letter that would provide info about the step by step process that I would undergo. I have a very small patch of Basal cell skin cancer, the most common and easily treated type of skin cancer. The dime-sized area of damaged skin between the bridge of my nose and the inside corner of my eye needed to be removed. It is the result of sun exposure over my 48 years in this body. I wanted to watch the link, but I knew I should be strategic and not watch it right before bed. At the end of one work day, I entered the link address into my computer and watched the brief video. Even people who don’t study Buddhism know that our obsessive self-concern (self-cherishing) is oh so very strong. So when they came to the part showing the doctor cutting out the damaged skin, it was animated. I appreciated this. I have to admit I kinda winced and looked away all the same………because this is what was going to happen to me! I take this opportunity to attempt to apply some of the wisdom that I perhaps don’t 100% grasp. I tell myself “Remember, the body you normally see does not exist”. I feel a very small but noticeable shift.
